Tag Archives: humor

Four Channels and Pong

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My son asked me the other day if we had TV when I was little.  All I could think was “how old do you think I am?”, but then I remembered how old I thought my parents were when they were my age.  So I knew the answer already and decided it best not to ask that question out loud.  My response to him instead was “Yes, we had TV.  But we didn’t have VCRs”.  His reply?  “What’s that?”  [insert eye roll here] I may as well have asked how old he thought I was.  Sheesh.

It kind of blows my mind to think that so many things have been invented since I was a kid.  When I was my son’s age we didn’t have cable TV, VCRs, or microwaves much less DVDs/BluRays, iPods, and tablets.  Of course, technology has come so far in the last 14 years that there’s already things my kids can say weren’t around when they were ‘kids’.

Here’s a comparison between technology when I was a kid and technology my kids have now:

Me- I was the remote control and only had 4 channels to choose from, sometimes 5 if I could get the rabbit ears just right and held my mouth just so.

My kids- can flip through NetFlix and watch whatever they want whenever they want.  The only problem they may have is if the internet goes out…or restriction

Me- decide to watch movie, get in car, go to video store,  rent  VCR, lug VCR home, hook it up, put in movie, rewind movie because the previous viewer wasn’t kind, return movie because tape was broken and wouldn’t play, see step one

My kids- decide to watch movie, turn on NetFlix.  OR Pop in DVD or BluRay.  Enjoy high definition presentation, bonus features and skip to favorite part of the movie.  No need to be kind or rewind; can even be enjoyed in the car

Me- record songs from radio onto a cassette,  have to wait another three hours to try again because the DJ didn’t stop talking in time and ruined the beginning of the song; use pencil to turn the cog in the cassette to un-jumble the tape so it would work again.

My kids- plug iPod into computer, two clicks later iPod is full of music.

And this is just the tip of the ice berg.  Don’t even get me started on video games!!  I started off with Pong.  Two little lines and a dot going back and forth.  Now we have two Kinects in our house that you control games full of extremely realistic graphics with your body instead of a hand held controller.   That is crazy. And so cool!  Then there are computers.   I didn’t get my first computer until right after my first child was born.  And that was only 14 years ago!  And it was a huge desk top.  Even the desk tops are super small and compact now and my kids have iPads instead of textbooks at school.

It’s nice to think back to how simple things used to be.  And you know what, we all survived it.  Sometimes I even wish we could go back to those simple times of 4 TV stations and Pong.  But I have to admit, I love technology [and I sure was happy when the Atari 2600 and 5200 came along].  I seriously would not know what to do if I didn’t have my cell phone!  Or the Internet.  Or my iPod.   I don’t think the world would know what to do without technology now that we’ve had it.  It certainly has made things much easier.  And faster.  Technology has made the world impatient though. Everything is at your fingertips.  You can Google anything, anywhere, any time and instantly.  I think I’m one of the most Google-ing-est people out there, too!   How do you cook tilapia? Google it.  Is this movie ok for the kids to watch? Google it.  Where’s the best place to go hiking? Google it.  What!? There’s such a thing as nude hiking?  Google it. [I’ll pause here while you actually go Google that one.  You know you want to.]

As much as I love technology, my cell phone and Google it is nice to take a break from it here and there.  Focus on the friends and family that are in the same room as you and not the ones on your Facebook friend list who you never even see.   Or maybe even go outside and see the beautiful landscapes that God created for us instead of looking at 2-D images of them that people forwarded you in an email.    Gary and I try to keep technology in perspective around our house with unplugged days, limiting xBox and Wii time and sending the kids outside for some fresh air and sunshine.   We also enjoy family night once a week where we all pile in the living room and watch a TV show or movie.  We can’t seem to find any good family tv shows these days though.  I guess that’s another thing that’s changed since I was a kid.

So, get off that laptop, put away your cell phone and spend some time with actual people.  You can even go for a hike.  Just don’t go naked.  Unless that’s your thing.

Tongues Aren’t Suppose To Do That

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I know my kids are talented, but this is just insane. I mean really! I didn’t even know tongues could do this. I know there are people who can tie cherry stems in a knot with their tongues. There’s even more people who can roll their tongues. But how many people can do this? It really is kind of freaky looking if you ask me.  Maybe I’m just jealous I can’t do it.  I tried, but I just got a cramp in my tongue.
So tell me, what kind of weird talent do you have?

A Single Smartie and Other Junk From My Couch

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I’m not so sure life is slowing down any time soon. I mean, I know our life is never going to slow down. What I mean to say is it seems to be busier than normal lately and I don’t see any signs of it slowing down any time soon. I’m not really sure why it’s so hectic these days. I can’t decide if it’s because of increased extra-curricular activities for a couple of the kids, the small “home improvements” we’re working on, or the four milestone birthdays we’ve helped our friends celebrate over the last two months. None of which is a bad thing. Nor would I want to give any of those things up! I love my life even when it’s super hectic. But I am missing American Idol people.

So our furniture came in last Wednesday and we were all super excited! Still are. We actually stayed downstairs all evening that night. We watched a tv show together as a family and no one had to sit on the floor! Except for when they were eating their popcorn of course. Gary and I even went back downstairs after the kids went to bed. We just sat there on the new couch and recliner. It was great. We still have to wait a couple more weeks for the media console. Which kills me. I’m so ready for the living room to be put together and finished! Of course, I still have to do the two art pieces for the wall. So I’ll need the next two weeks to do that anyway. Funny~That makes me sound like a lot more of an artist than I really am. Crafty is more like it. Anyway, I’ve been scouring the interwebs to find accessories [in my head I hear Gary saying that in his fake ‘sweet little lispy voice’ every time. Cracks. Me. Up]. I’m on the hunt for the perfect throw pillows. I actually already found them but apparently I’m the only person who likes ruffles. I got the ‘no go’ from my husband AND my best friend. She’s not a ruffle-y kind of girl apparently. I just know that I don’t want plain boring pillows. I also know that I don’t want patterned pillows. Or pillows with buttons. All I know is I get these visions in my head of how I want something to look and I don’t stop until I find it. Or something else that I end up liking just as much as what was in my head. Speaking of which is probably a very scary place. All dark and cob webby probably. Who knows. I’m sure my family and friends have their own guesses. Anyway….I have some great ideas that I hope are just as awesome in reality as they are in my alternate reality that is my head.

Now that we have our new furniture there are a few new rules for the living room. Well, really just one.

1. DON’T RUIN THE NEW FURNITURE

This includes all old rules [no eating or drinking in the living room, no climbing on the furniture, no sitting on the arms] and a few new rules [no popcorn on the couches on movie night, no Beyblades on the coffee table at any time]. After cleaning out the old furniture to move it upstairs I realized that our kids believe that our rules don’t apply when Gary and I aren’t home. I wish our friends had been there to witness us cleaning it out. Because no one will ever believe how much crap was on the inside of that couch. I am not kidding you. Here’s what we found~
*almost two dollars in quarters that went into our vacation fund jar
*a match box car that was pink and apparently belongs to Paige
*a pocket knife that we’ve never even seen before
*the iPod Touch that we may or may not have accused people of stealing
*lots of, and by ‘lots of’ I mean a bajillion, snack wrappers
*Tootsie Rolls and wrappers -some still in the wrappers, some not. some half eaten.
*and a single Smartie that looked more like a teeny, tiny Petri dish. Yeah, I didn’t know they could grow mold either. But they do.

And don’t even ask how we got all that stuff out. It was a job. I felt like I was playing that claw game where you get stuffed toys as a prize. Only I was using a pair of tongs and a magnetic pointer with a much less desirable outcome. Needless to say I have threatened the kids within an inch of their life to keep the new couch…well, new.

So, now that the living room is semi-done we have to start working on the guest room down stairs. My brother and his wife are coming to visit for a week over Spring Break which is just under a month away. Right now the guest bedroom looks more like a junk drawer rather than an acceptable place for two people to sleep. The walls are covered in spackle, we still don’t have a frame for the mattress and….. yeah, you get the idea. Did I mention they’ll be here in 18 days?

Things will slow down. When I’m 80.

Poop and other conversations I have with my kids

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I could write a book about the crazy stuff my kids say. Seriously, I am not kidding. I honestly don’t know where they come up with half of it. And they certainly aren’t bashful about anything. Our poor, poor friends and family. Thankfully they are all good sports and think it’s as funny as we do.

Here are a few gems from Paige~

“Mom, that lady is asleep in her car. Or either dead” {me- “oh my”} “Well, she’s old.”

“Mom, have you ever thought your poop was gonna be really long but it was only this big {gesturing with fingers}?”

And here’s one I overheard from the next room one day~

“Let’s play hide and seek. Our parents’ room is off limits, Chalon’s room is off limits, the bathrooms are off limits and you have to stay upstairs.”

Hmmm…that doesn’t leave a lot of options now does it?

And here are Paige’s thoughts on cartoon characters and their wardrobe, or lack thereof~

The Grinch-“Now all I need is a reindeer.” Paige-“And some pants.”

This one proves that no matter how much we try to shield kids from things they always figure it out. We were over at our best friends house and he was very particular, and sneaky, about smoking out on the deck and away from the kids. He walked back in and Matt announces in a very matter of factly manner~

“I smell smoe-king.”

Well, so much for hiding.

Our kids are the best form of entertainment. And free too! Ok, maybe not free in the long run but you know what I mean. I have to make sure I get a note pad or learn how to use that recording feature on my phone. I’m gonna write that book one day and make back all the money our kids drained out of us.